SuppliedPoint: My dad can beat up your dad
My dad is so strong. He is really really strong. So strong that he can carry all the groceries from the car. He has a big truck that goes really fast and so he can beat your stupid dad in a race! Your stupid dad is not as fast as my dad, and he is not as strong as my dad either. My dad is stronger than your dad because he could even beat up your dad. His muscles are really strong and so his muscles are stronger than your stupid dad’s weak muscles.
If my dad and your dad had a fight then my dad would win. He would punch your dad in the face so hard that your dad’s face would turn red and blue! And so then he would get two big black eyes and not even be able to see my dad anymore, and then my dad would punch your dad in the nuts! And he would punch him so hard that your dad would say “Ouch! My nuts!” so loud that everyone would hear him.
Then your dad would say “Waah waah waah I got beat up and punched so hard that I lost the fight and I can’t see anymore and my nuts hurt!” And my dad would say “I’m so strong and fast that I won the fight!” So that’s exactly what would happen when my dad fights your dad.
To recapitulate, not only is my dad faster than your dad, his musculature would ensure his triumph in a fight. The humiliation facing your dad upon losing to my dad would be so great that he would renounce his dignity and admit that my dad is stronger. Fuck your stupid dad, my dad could kick his ass.
Counterpoint: No, my dad can beat up your dad
Your dad could not beat up my dad, my dad could beat up your dad way better. You said your dad is strong but I went to your house once and I SAW him take two trips with the groceries and my dad NEVER has to do that because he is WAY stronger than your dad. And your dad couldn’t be as fast as my dad because I am a really fast runner and when I race my dad he always wins because he is REALLY REALLY FAST (but I sometimes win because I’m pretty fast too).
If my dad fought your dad he would NOT get punched in the face because he is BETTER than your dad. Your dad would try to punch my dad but he would DODGE out of the WAY because he is TOO FAST and then he would PUNCH your dad IN THE FACE because your dad is NOT AS FAST OR AS STRONG AS MY DAD and if your dad tried to punch him in his nuts it WOULDN’T WORK because he is TOO SMART because he knows to PROTECT HIMSELF. I know because we were watching hockey and I asked him how they don’t get hurt and he said they had a special CUP to put on their NUTS so they wouldn’t GET HURT and he KNOWS THIS SO IF YOUR DAD TRIED TO PUNCH HIM THERE IT WOULDN’T WORK AND MY DAD WOULD PUNCH YOUR DAD SO HARD HE WOULD BE KNOCKED OUT AND THEN HE WOULD CRY.
