Final exams replaced with Kahoot

Final exam season is back, but this time with a twist. After receiving one too many USRI reviews saying that exams put too much of a strain on students, finals are undergoing a change for the better.

With new research finding that exams do little to nothing at all in accurately testing how much knowledge a student retains during class, but instead heightens anxiety levels by over 9,000 per cent, the University of Alberta is trying out a new alternative. A class-wide game of Kahoot will now determine the final grades of every student, beginning in 2019.  

Yes, that’s right. Suggested to the university by that one professor who tries a little too hard to be cool, students will have to cram inside the Butterdome or the Van Vliet Gym and play a game of Kahoot to determine their final grade.

While you’ll still fail, it will at least be filled with colours and basic shapes. This new method of testing is a win-win: it’s fun and will be easier for teaching assistants to grade, as the students who finish the game in the bottom tier are weak and do not deserve to continue in society, as is the motto of the Modern Education System™.

The Kahoot exams have come under some criticism, however, as some students fear that one cumulative test that is so easy to slip up on will not be an accurate way to assess the skills learned in the classroom. The university officially addressed these complaints, responding with “Yes.”

So instead of cramming for an exam that will take your GPA from 3.7 to a 2.1 over an hour, get ready to go from 1st place to 310th due to one fatal misclick. Happy Hunger Games, bitches.