If you’re anything like me, you enjoy a little peace and quiet. A little bit of normalcy. You like to have conversations about how the weather is, how classes are going, and how excited you are that the semester is almost over.
Then all of a sudden one of your DICKHEAD friends starts talking about League of Legends like it’s the greatest thing in the world. Wow, you totally “ganked” someone last game and your team still lost?? I’m SOOOOOOOOOOO interested by that.
Wow, then you played a game of PUBG and you managed to come in first place? Yes, of course PUBG is SOOOOOOOO much better than Fortnite, even though they essentially share the same shitty core. Fuck this conversation.
Yes, it’s obvious; gamers ruin everything. So that’s why I’ve decided to publicly announce that I’m a gamerphobe. I hate gamers and will do everything in my power to wipe them from the face of this earth.
Can you imagine sitting in a chair for hours a day, just doing the same thing over and over again and not fucking hating yourself? I can’t.
Hey, now hold on a minute! Laying in bed and binge-watching Netflix is NOT AT ALL LIKE THAT! You can’t make that comparison! Gaming is different because —
Oh god. Oh fuck, oh shit. I’m two steps away from being a gamer. I —
I’m gonna talk to y’all about this later. I need to take some time to… think.