Vegan options at Dewey’s and RATT alienate zero carb community [NOT CLICKBAIT]

Hey gang gamers. It’s me, ya boy, Zero-Carb Zach, here with another epic destruction of liberal cowards. Today’s episode, we’ll be looking at our campus’ bars and their new VEGAN FOOD.

Now, if y’all know me, you know I love me some meat with salt and more meat on the side. Who doesn’t, right? But you know what’s absolutely filthy, shit I can’t stomach? Carbs. Just the sight of them makes me ill, so you can guess what happened when I rolled up to RATT for my after-school Diet Vodka Water (carb free) and was slapped in the face with an entire menu FILLED with carbohydrates.

I’m talkin a burrito without MEAT (can’t even call that a burrito), some yam fries (pure carbs), and, get this, a fuckin plate of cauliflower (not even a good vegetable wtf). Honestly, I’ve had it with these liberal campus bars and their filthy vegetable pandering.

What’s next, they put fruit in beer?

Anyways, thanks for tuning in zero-carb bro-team. Catch me next week when I re-review the campus Subway (spoiler alert, they cater to vegeans too. UGH).