Uncovering the hidden effects of 420 jokes

It’s long been speculated by overly worried parents that the effects of smoking marijuana may also impact children who make crude jokes about “420-ing it up” while abstaining from the actual act of smoking dank kush. Well, scientists have recently found these concerns to be completely valid.

“Merely joking about or even casually referring to the term ‘420’ can actually melt childrens’ brains,” said Dr. Dare, a “researcher” this reporter found handing out copies of his self-help mixtape on the streets last Tuesday. “It’s really quite shocking, and nobody knows the danger this can have on a developing mind.”

The news already has the world reeling.

“I’m buying one of those things that blocks every mention of weed on TV for my kid,” said one parent found raving outside an elite preschool institution. “If Jimmy here is going to be going to Harvard, he can’t have his mind clouded by mentions of such vices.”

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