Marble Pedestal: Wetzel’s Pretzels is HERE

You might’ve noticed a lot of garish yellow around campus lately. There are specks of it scattered across the sidewalks and hallways, like an archipelago of radioactive islands in a murky greyish-brown sea. It’s a giant splash in HUB mall, so bright that you can’t possibly miss it. Wetzel’s Pretzels is finally here, and my life may never be the same again.

First off, let me defend the colour choice. Yes, it’s an assault on the senses, but it’s also an overload of positivity. Yellow is just such an upbeat colour. Whenever I see it, a part of my brain can’t help but think “everything’s gonna be alright now.” If optimism was a colour, it would be Wetzel’s Pretzels Yellow.

And then, there’s the food. After months of anticipation, Wetzel’s delivers exactly what its name promises: hunks of dough that taste like pretzels. It’s not trying to reinvent the wheel, though it does sprinkle that wheel with some cheese, cinnamon, jalapenos, and all other sorts of tasty stuff, which I’m all for. It’s arguably the best dough on campus, with that signature pretzel taste.

So far, I’ve had the privilege of eating their regular pretzel, pretzel bites, cheese & pepperoni pretzel, cheesy pretzel dog and jalaroni pretzel (jalapeño & pepperoni for all those not versed in pretzology). I ate the latter two before writing this, so now I’m all carbed up and ready for a grueling day of studies.

That’s the other great thing about Wetzel’s: it’s ideal study food. In this present time of end-of-year projects and term papers, Wetzel’s got your back with its affordable and energy-heavy food. Sure, the carb overload might lull you to sleep, but I for one could kind of use that right about now.

Finally, I just want to shout out the whole staff of Wetzel’s. You guys are doing a great job meeting the current high demand for your food. Having worked in the food business before, I know how tiresome, demanding, and repetitive of a job it can be. Thank you for your service in providing U of A with tasty, pretzely dough. I will be back many, many times.