CampusOpinion

Marble Pedestal: Magpies on campus

Why do people hate magpies so much?

I love birds. I’ve been around birds as pets my whole life, and I’ve always admired them in the wild. But for some reason, there’s one bird breed in particular that gets buckets of undeserved hate: the magpie.

Magpies, if you didn’t know, are related to crows. They come in a variety of different colours all across the globe, but the ones we have in Canada are usually black and white, with subtle hints of blue in their tail. They are not only beautiful, but also brave. In my experience on campus, the only animal that has gotten closer to me is a squirrel, and we all know how insane the squirrels are. Magpies also stick around throughout the year, meaning that you can spot them on campus even during the winter.

Despite all this, everyone seems to hate magpies. Whenever I spot one on campus and tell my friends, all anyone can talk about is how much they suck. Even the Alberta provincial website rags on magpies, calling them “important to Alberta’s ecosystem, but… a nuisance on your property.”

What is the deal? Why does everyone hate them so much? All they do is eat insects and protect their young; is that really so bad? Sure, they eat garbage, and maybe they’re a little aggressive when you get too close, but that isn’t so different from you and I. I too can be seen with leftover spaghetti dangling from my mouth at all hours of the day. Not to mention the fact that it’s our responsibility as humans to keep the garbage locked up!

For whatever reason, the hate for magpies persists, but I will keep defending them. They are always a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy day of classes, and I love seeing them hop through the snow and leave their tiny little footprints.

Here’s to you, campus magpies. May you find lots of insects to eat, and may you never comprehend spoken language, lest you rise up against the humans who would bully you. Sláinte.

Payton Ferguson

Payton Ferguson is a English major by day, 2019-20 Opinion Editor for The Gateway by night (and also day). She enjoys long walks to the fridge, writing until her wrists ache, and bombarding social media with pictures of her chihuahuas.

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