DiversionsMagazineSeptember

September 2019 horoscopes

Aries: You will quickly realize those early morning classes were a mistake. At least it bUiLdS cHaRaCtEr.

Taurus: A map of campus will do you wonders this semester. Unfortunately, it won’t help you find motivation.

Gemini: Your body is in dehydro-grade. Bring a water bottle to class and stay hydrated.

Cancer: As much as you may want to believe it, pizza bagels and popcorn are not a meal. 

Leo: Your teachers are there to help. Ask them all of the questions this semester. Be *that* kid. 

Virgo: That club you saw at WoW that you’re not sure if you should join? Join it! 

Libra: Your ONEcard is essential. Better check your pocket to make sure it’s still there.

Scorpio: At some point, you’ll meet people who won’t like you. On the bright side, they’re going to die someday. 

Sagittarius: As you keep busy advocating for the destruction of capitalism, remember to take some time this semester to practice self care. 

Capricorn: As nice as it would be to skip that easy elective, remember you’re paying hundreds of real life dollars for it. 

Aquarius: Expand your mind. Question your pre-existing worldview. Become the person your uncle you only see at Thanksgiving feared college would make you. 

Pisces: If you start to panic because you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t worry! No one else does either.

Bree Meiklejohn

Bree Meiklejohn is a first-year classics and creative writing student. She’s also an aspiring writer who loves dogs, Earl Grey tea, and pretending to know what she’s doing.

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