DiversionsHoroscopesMagazineOctober

October 2019 horoscopes

Aries: Stop being afraid that all your friends secretly find you annoying. It’s probably only the majority of them. Isn’t that comforting?

Taurus: Being afraid of new things is boring. You can’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it!

Gemini: Fearing deadlines but still procrastinating does not make sense. Get your shit together.

Cancer: The only thing you fear is not meeting your daily tear quota. Please stop crying, it is exhausting.

Leo: Your relentlessly gripping fear of not being the constant center of attention? That’s what we call being a Leo.

Virgo: The fear of oversharing is a healthy fear!

Libra: You are a bad bitch! Literally nothing could have you in distress.

Scorpio: You, like everybody else, fears the day Blue Ivy’s talent surpasses Beyoncé’s.

Sagittarius: Fear can sometimes be a good indication that something isn’t the best choice for you. Honour your gut feeling, but don’t let it rule you.

Capricorn: Yes, the phobia of Week of Welcome volunteers is real. Yes, we all feel the same way.

Aquarius: Get over yourself! Go to the karaoke bar and sing your terrible rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.” You are going to kill it!

Pisces: Your incessant need to always be in control is why nobody wants to work with you on group projects. Learn to relax and ride the wave more often.

Related Articles

Back to top button
Close