Diary of a year: Asking for help, gaining independence, and slowing down

Life in University can look very different depending on where you are in the journey.

For a first-year student, simply making it through the first semester can feel like an accomplishment. By second year, students may begin finding their rhythm. Third year can bring new opportunities and independence, while fourth year can feel like a final opportunity to appreciate the experiences that once seemed ordinary.

The individual experiences may vary, but the commonality is that university is more than just classes. It is about the people students meet along the way, the struggles they wade through, the opportunities they pursue, the decisions they have to make, and the moments they may not realize are important until they look back.

From learning to ask for help to appreciating the moments that pass too quickly, four University of Alberta students reflect on the experiences, challenges, and discoveries that shaped their university experience.

Learning not to do it alone

When Lukas Kohnke arrived at the U of A for his first year, he expected to thrive.

“I thought I was gonna rock it. No problem. Easy, honestly,” he said.

Instead, his first year was marked by loneliness and academic struggles. 

Kohnke admitted he entered university underestimating how different it would be from high school. He was already thinking about finding a part-time job and approached his studies with confidence. “I just didn’t respect it all, honestly,” he admitted.

As the year progressed, however, Kohnke realized that succeeding at university was about more than just simply keeping up with schoolwork.

“What you will learn in classes is kind of less important than the people you’ll eat [with] and talk to,” he recalled.

Kohnke struggled to recognize that during his first year. He largely kept to himself. When he began struggling in his linear algebra class, he stopped attending class for several months.

“I would go to class and be like, ‘I don’t get it,’” he said. “I would take notes and be like, ‘Man, I don’t get it,’ so I’m just going to not go.”

His advice to incoming students is simple: don’t do that. With only a week remaining before the final, he committed himself to studying the entire course.

“I just studied the whole class in one week,” he said.

The experience became one of his favourite memories from his first year, not necessarily because of the final itself, but because of what it represented.

“I felt very accomplished when I did better on that when I was currently failing the class,” Kohnke said.

More importantly, Kohnke eventually learned that he did not have to handle university alone. A former high school classmate taking physics and honours math helped him through some of his struggles, changing how Kohnke viewed asking for help.

“If I had one piece of advice, it is every time, just reach out to people, talk to people,” he said.

Looking back, Kohnke wishes he had been more willing to engage with the university community. He admits that he rarely sought out opportunities to connect with others or ask for assistance.

“I’ve never even been to the second floor of the Student Union Building,” he said. “I just didn’t want to engage with other people in a helpful way.”

Now entering his second year, Kohnke expects his studies to remain challenging, but is looking forward to studying subjects he enjoys and having more control over his education. His second year represents an opportunity to approach university on his own terms, with the lessons of first year behind him.

“If nothing else, it’s going to be on my own terms now,” he said.

Importance of finding balance

Cristina Iordache, a third-year neuroscience student, was pleasantly surprised to find that her second year of university was easier than the first.

“Even though I was taking more advanced classes, they were more related to my major of neuroscience, so I found them a lot more interesting and easier to study for,” she said.

Along the way, she also realized that study groups could help make studying fun too. 

“I found this out pretty early on into Organic Chemistry 263. That class can be very intense and it’s a very independent style of learning,” she said. “So once I actually started studying with classmates and quizzing each other and kind of making it more of a group event, I found that class a lot more rewarding and interesting and easy to learn.”

But there’s a time to set down the books and just enjoy life too. Students don’t need to use every spare moment to study.

“I think a lot of students sometimes confuse relaxed time with study time and I found that the more that you just give time to each without feeling guilty for taking a break, the more you can enjoy both your relaxing time and your study time.”

Some of Iordache’s favourite parts of her second year weren’t the ones where she was studying. She took advantage of the opportunity to study abroad in Grenoble, France. While in France, she got to improve her French, but the independence had more of an impact.

“It was my first time being completely alone so I had my own apartment. It was a very, very independent experience and a lot of freedom,” Iordache said. “I had a lot of really cool new experiences and I met a lot of interesting people.”

Looking to the year ahead, she’s excited to indulge in more of her favourite courses: language and neuroscience. 

“I’m excited to see what branches of neuroscience I’m more interested in. And going into fourth year, I’ll use that information to figure out what I want to do for my honours thesis.”

Taking a chance on new opportunities

Becoming more independent was also a big part of Maria Ngan’s third year of mechanical engineering. In the course of her third year, she gained more experience, confidence, and maturity.

Moving into more advanced and specialized studies, particularly in biomedical engineering, were on the agenda for Ngan. 

“I also knew going in that I was going to have a co-op work term that winter that was in like neuroimaging research so I was mostly looking forward to specializing more into biomedical engineering this year.”

Ngan had the opportunity to travel to Montreal for her work term during the winter semester. 

“I was able to go to research at the Neuro Poly Lab at Polytechnique Montreal and it was a really cool opportunity to do a new type of research I hadn’t done before to be in a new city living on my own with practicing French as well so it was a really cool opportunity to learn more and try some new things.”

Finding success in different areas of research and school wasn’t something Ngan had initially expected.

“Going into some of these new things I did this year, I was a little bit unsure about how it would go, but that I was able to do well in those things too,” she said.

But taking advantage of those opportunities and having faith in yourself is important.

“You’ve had a couple years of university experience under your belt, you’ve gained a bit of knowledge from your classes, so you’re probably more capable than you think to be able to go out there and do some new opportunities.”

Appreciating the moments

By the fourth year, Stefan Iordache, brother of Cristina, had accumulated three years of university experience, intense course loads, and countless hours in labs.

He expected his final year to be demanding. Instead, he found it unexpectedly enjoyable.

“I would say nostalgic, exciting, and unforgettable,” he summarized when asked about his fourth year.

The difference was partly the relationships he had built over the previous four years. Being in class with friends he had known for years and balancing research with coursework made his final year feel different from what he had anticipated.

Looking back, however, Iordache wishes he had appreciated those moments more while they were happening.

“How fast the time goes by,” he said, when asked about one thing he wished he had known going into his fourth year.

Simple memories like being in class with friends, walking between classes or heading to the gym together became memories that he now looks back on fondly.

His favourite part of fourth year was getting the opportunity to conduct research for the first time through his honours thesis. After completing years of structured laboratory work, conducting both dry and wet lab research gave him the opportunity to experience what it was like to perform science himself.

“It was really interesting kind of shifting away from all those intense labs and having the experience to be able to perform science myself,” Iordache recalled.

That experience also helped him prepare for his next chapter as a Master’s student.

However, Iordache’s advice for incoming fourth-year students extends beyond academics.

“Appreciate the time you have in that moment and not rush through anything,” he said.

Deadlines, classes, and exams will always matter, but so will the moments happening between them: walking to class with friends, going to the gym, sitting in a lab, and spending time with classmates.

These ordinary moments are what become meaningful memories once university is over.

Four years, four different lessons

The four students’ experiences showcase how university can change from one year to the next.

Kohnke learned that asking for help and building connections can make the difference between struggling alone and finding a way forward.

Cristina Iordache discovered that university does not have to revolve entirely around studying, and that learning with others and taking the time to relax can make the experience more rewarding.

Ngan learned that students are often capable of more than they initially believe, especially when they are willing to take on unfamiliar opportunities.

Stefan Iordache learned to appreciate the moments that can easily be overlooked while trying to keep up with everything else.

Their advice may be aimed at different stages of university life, but it ultimately points toward the same idea: there is more to university than the next exam, assignment, or deadline.

Four years can pass quickly. And somewhere between the first day jitters, the never-ending study sessions, last-minute exam revisions, new friendships, and unfamiliar opportunities, students begin to realize that the university is not just about where they end up.

It is about everything that happens along the way.