September 2019 horoscopes
Aries: You will quickly realize those early morning classes were a mistake. At least it bUiLdS cHaRaCtEr.
Taurus: A map of campus will do you wonders this semester. Unfortunately, it won’t help you find motivation.
Gemini: Your body is in dehydro-grade. Bring a water bottle to class and stay hydrated.
Cancer: As much as you may want to believe it, pizza bagels and popcorn are not a meal.
Leo: Your teachers are there to help. Ask them all of the questions this semester. Be *that* kid.
Virgo: That club you saw at WoW that you’re not sure if you should join? Join it!
Libra: Your ONEcard is essential. Better check your pocket to make sure it’s still there.
Scorpio: At some point, you’ll meet people who won’t like you. On the bright side, they’re going to die someday.
Sagittarius: As you keep busy advocating for the destruction of capitalism, remember to take some time this semester to practice self care.
Capricorn: As nice as it would be to skip that easy elective, remember you’re paying hundreds of real life dollars for it.
Aquarius: Expand your mind. Question your pre-existing worldview. Become the person your uncle you only see at Thanksgiving feared college would make you.
Pisces: If you start to panic because you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t worry! No one else does either.