The five kinds of people you’ll see in Cameron Library at 3 A.M.

I’ve been in Cameron Library at 3 a.m. more times than I care to admit. It’s where I go when I need to finish an assignment, clear my head, or use Adobe Pro (there’s some sweet software on those computers that I do not have). No matter what time I go in there, these five people are in there too.

The girl who doesn’t own a laptop

In a classroom full of glowing Apple logos, there’s always one person with a notebook and pencil, convinced that they can make it through the class without succumbing to the oppressive control of a machine. This is the girl who always avoids the self-checkout at the grocery store, and prints out every reading for every class because she hates reading things on a screen. There’s only so much a luddite can accomplish however, and this girl must give in to the power of technology eventually — so here she is, in Cameron at 3 a.m., reluctantly scrolling through the library database, secretly revelling in the foreign concept of the internet.

The keener

He’s typing furiously, surrounded by textbooks, empty coffee cups, and more Post-It notes than any sane person would ever need. He seems completely unaware that it’s three in the goddam morning, and is working on an assignment that isn’t due for another two weeks — you can tell because his colour-coded agenda is splayed open on the table next to him. Don’t even think about pointing out the fact that normal people would be sleeping at such an hour, however, because he’ll yell “There’s no time like the present!” at a pitch only those who have reached maximum levels of caffeine intake can reach.

The procrastinator

She’s also typing furiously, but that’s because her English paper is due in six hours and she hasn’t started the book yet. With SparkNotes open on one tab and EasyBib on another, she is a woman with a plan. She’s going to finish this assignment if it kills her. You’ll find her deep in the recesses of the basement, hoping that if she sits as far away as possible from any possible route of escape, she’ll be able to muster up the willpower to get this shit done in one sitting. If you pass this person on your way out, give her a nod of encouragement. She needs it.

The guy who stumbled home from Whyte and somehow managed to swipe his OneCard

No one knows how this guy ended up here, but somehow he made it. After a wild night at Beercade, and after discovering he had no money left for a cab, this guy returned to campus in search of somewhere to sleep off his sins. SUB at least has beanbag chairs, but buddy boy seems satisfied with the squeaky Cameron couches (that walk across quad is just too far when you’re that far gone) and he’s snoring softly. He will be rudely interrupted by a noisy crowd of science students in about five hours, but for now nothing will disrupt his drunken slumber.

The Lister resident avoiding Lister

Especially during flu season (which, if you live in Lister, is every season), some Lister residents reach a point where the main objective in their life is to spend as little time in Lister as possible. When you’ve used up all your meal plan money for the month at the new gelato station in the cafeteria, sometimes the only way to avoid temptation is to leave the building and camp out somewhere else. Cameron Library has all the best features of Lister — quiet hours, puppy therapy, and, most importantly, cheap beer nearby.

Emma Jones

Emma is the 2020-21 Executive Director, and is going into her final year of Political Science with a minor in Comparative Literature. When she isn’t busy making a list or colour-coding her agenda, you can find her at debate club, listening to trashy pop music, or accidentally dying her hair pink. She formerly worked as the Opinion Editor at the Gateway and the Student Governance Officer at the Students’ Union.

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