Sports

There’s something for fans of every NHL team to be thankful for on American Thanksgiving

Anaheim Ducks: The Ducks aren’t scoring at below a point-per-game pace like they were for the first few weeks of the season anymore. And the Pacific Division is so bad, they can slide their way into the playoffs regardless of how poorly they play.

Arizona Coyotes: Coyotes fans can be thankful that their team still exists!

Boston Bruins: Bruins fans can be thankful for Jonas Gustavssen? He’s been excellent so far this year, which is actually necessary due to Tukka Rask being uncharacteristically mediocre.

Buffalo Sabres: They have diet Connor McDavid in Jack Eichel and they’ve still got the best play by play announcer in the NHL. 

Calgary Flames: No matter how terrible the Flames are this year, their provincial rivals will still be below them in the standings. That’s something to be thankful for.

Carolina Hurricanes: Who knows, maybe they’ll get Hartford Whalers alternate jerseys at some point in the future. Be thankful for the memories the 2006 Hurricanes brought.

Chicago Blackhawks: Hawks fans, you get to watch Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, and Duncan Keith every game instead of Eric Daze, Kyle Calder, and Tyler Arnason. Be thankful. Don’t forget where you came from.

Colorado Avalanche: There isn’t much to be thankful for with the Avs right now because of very own Old Boys Club of Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy running the franchise into the ground. I guess fans in Denver can be thankful for cannabis legalization.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Be thankful for John Tortorella, Jackets fans. Not because he’s a good coach at all, but because he’ll probably try to forcibly enter another team’s locker room before the season ends. Hopefully it happens before they’re mathematically eliminate from the playoffs in February.

Dallas Stars: Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are lighting up the league and they have a much, much, much better offence than the Dallas Cowboys. That’s something to be thankful for.

Detroit Red Wings: I’m starting to think Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg don’t actually age like normal human beings, so they’ll probably end up both being really good well into their 50s. Be thankful for these two Hall of Famers and then continue to be thankful for the next crop the Wings inevitably develop. 

Edmonton Oilers: Connor McDavid will be back… eventually. New arena? I guess that’s something? I don’t know.

Florida Panthers: Be thankful this isn’t your intro video anymore.

Los Angeles Kings: Kings fans can be thankful the team’s luck is back and they look like contenders again. Even if they aren’t, they can be thankful for having a hilarious twitter account.

Minnesota Wild: Fans of the Wild can be thankful that their team is becoming slightly less boring to watch than usual.

Montreal Canadiens: Be thankful that you have enough serviceable players that Dale Weise won’t have to keep up his unsustainable scoring pace.

Nashville Predators: Shea Weber, Roman Josi, Seth Jones, and co. make up a better defensive core than the rest of the league put together. That’s something for Predators fans to be thankful for.

New York Islanders: The team moved to Brooklyn! And their new alternate jerseys are really nice.

New York Rangers: Henrik Lundquist is the most handsome player in the NHL, hands down. Also, the team is pretty good too, so there’s lots to be thankful for.

Ottawa Senators: Erik Karlsson isn’t as bad defensively as you think. Be thankful you have one of the best defencemen to ever play the game, Sens fans.

Philadelphia Flyers: Flyers fans should be thankful the team isn’t as bad as the Eagles, 76ers, or Phillies.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Much like the Blackhawks, you had to deal with a lot of bad teams to get to where you are now. Be thankful your best player is Sidney Crosby and not Alexei Morozov.

San Jose Sharks: The Sharks aren’t an elite team anymore, so fans in San Jose can be thankful for the fact their annual chokes are more a dull numbing sensation rather than a devastating heartbreak.

St. Louis Blues: Even if the Blues choke in the playoffs again, fans can be thankful they get to watch eight more years of this guy. 

Tampa Bay Lightning: Even if they doubled the size of nets, Ben Bishop would still probably take up three quarters of it.

Toronto Maple Leafs: At least the Jays made the playoffs this year.

Vancouver Canucks: Be thankful for the Sedin twins. Canucks fans will eventually regret not appreciating them as much as they should have when they’re gone.

Washington Capitals: Despite his hair growing progressively greyer, Alex Ovechkin is still an absolute joy to watch. Be thankful for one of the greatest goal scorers ever to play the game. 

Winnipeg Jets: Jets fans can be happy that their team exists again!  

Related Articles

Back to top button