SuppliedThe Under 5’10 team and Over 6’5 team
Since the National Hockey League is trying to push a “Young Stars” team and a “Lump the Rest of Europe Together” team for the World Cup of Hockey, why not throw all the 5’10 and under players together and give them a shot? They’re all likely to be overlooked for their respective teams anyways, and would instantly become fan-favourites for the tournament. The talent left behind due to their size would easily have a chip on their shoulders that would make them extremely competitive, giving almost everyone a hard time not to cheer them on. Watching the short stars attempt to thwart Canada or Finland with their speed and dangles would be admirable, and has the makings of a future ESPN 30 for 30 episode. You could even build a potential-rivalry with a 6’5 and over team, with each team sporting its own Tyler captain, with 5’6 Tyler Ennis and 6’7 Tyler Myers going head-to-head. The height disparity alone would make the game highly entertaining and will provoke emotional debates between fans on just how valuable size is in hockey. — Christian Pagnani
The NHL All-Star teams from 10, 20 and 30 years earlier
Okay, so this so-called World Cup of Hockey clearly isn’t actually a World Cup at all. It’s more of a quagmire of All-Star teams, because like half of the teams involved don’t even represent a specific country. The U-23 All-Star squad, the leftover Euro All-Star squad, this sounds nothing like an international tournament to me. They should add some nostalgia to this thing and feature NHL All-Star teams from 10, 20, or fuck it, even 30 years prior in the tournament. So the tournament is being held in 2016? Okay, let’s see the 2006, 1996 and 1986 NHL All-Star teams. This would also be really good from a hockey historian’s perspective. It’s really tough to say whether Sidney Crosby is anywhere near the level Wayne Gretzky was when he played, but if you put the two of them on a level playing field like this, we can finally determine which player is superior. Imagine that. Ovechkin, Gretzky, Lemieux, Crosby. All of them on the same ice surface together. I could certainly see a really cool rivalry between the 1986 NHL All-Star team and the U-23 All-Star team becoming one to remember. Besides, I’m sure some of those washed up, retired players are dying to get back in the spotlight, so give them a chance! — Cam Lewis
The team from the second Mighty Ducks movie
I’d love to see Greg Goldberg and his comedic relief and poor goal tending on the world hockey stage once again — that’s why the Mighty Ducks should be allowed to participate in the 2016 World Cup of Hockey. Specifically, it should be the Mighty Ducks team from D2: The Mighty Ducks. Could the best goalies from around the world actually stop Russ Tyler’s knuckle-puck? How would other teams respond to the “Bash Brothers?” I’d love for any and all of these questions to be answered. Personally, I’d think they would be able to hold their own. They have heart, skill, and most importantly, Coach Gordon Bombay, who would totally be coaching in the NHL if he wasn’t busy being the best lawyer and male role model in the State of Minnesota. But the main reason why the Mighty Ducks should be in the new World Cup of Hockey is Charlie Conway. He gave up his roster spot for the injured Adam Banks in the final game of the Goodwill Junior Games against Iceland — he needs a shot at redemption. — Zach Borutski
