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The Gatewhat: Freshman university student frustrated by college experience

Cameron Lewis
Sports Editor
Sep 30, 2013

Stating that he has not yet been invited to a “sick college party” or met anybody else who wants to binge drink in their dorm room, first-year arts student Roy Bates has been underwhelmed by the college experience so far in his first month at the University of Alberta.

“I just had a really definite expectation of what my college experience would be like at this university,” Roy said. “I watched a lot of the TV show Greek when I was in junior high. It got me really excited.”

“In that show, it’s really cool. Like, they’re all in fraternities and maternities or whatever. There’s these preppier guys who want to do business and law and all that, and then there’s these party guys who don’t really know what they want — and that’s okay — and all these hot chicks, and they have so much fun all the time and their lives are so interesting, even when they’re stressed out,” Roy stated, as he gazed wistfully into the sky.

When asked why he never bothered to join a frat, or at least check one out, the economics major just shrugged and mentioned how he wanted to go home early and hang out with his friends from high school.

Bates is currently enrolled in four classes in the 2013 fall term: Economics 101, English 124, Sociology 100 and Psychology 104, but has been unimpressed with his professors’ inability to connect with him personally as a student, as well as his classmates’ disinterest in socializing during class.

“I came into SOC 100 on the first day and was greeted by a lecture hall of 350 people,” Bates said. “I thought to myself, ‘Wow, this is going to be awesome. 350 new friends.’”

According to Bates, this has tragically not been the case.

“I’ve tried talking to people during lectures, and all they do is frown and type out what the prof is saying on to their laptop,” a frustrated Bates said. “The worst part is when I try to engage the prof, or crack a joke in class, they don’t even acknowledge me or how funny I am.

“It’s like my prof doesn’t even care that I’m here.”

Bates stated that his perception of student-professor relationships are a manifestation of one of his favorite episodes of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in which Will enrolls in a Western Philosophy class, drops it, then re-enrolls because he decides his professor could be a “difference-maker” in his life.

While this has not been the case, freshman Roy Bates looks to keep his chin up as he continues on with his young university career, hoping to enjoy his college experience.

The Gatewhat looks beyond the truth to bring readers hard-hitting, fictional stories regarding student life at the University of Alberta.


Never before have I wanted to kick the ass of a stranger this badly.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct 01, 2013

Wanna come volunteer for Campus Cup!?

Posted by William Lau on Oct 01, 2013

I too am a first year student at the UofA this year and I completely agree. No one on campus seems the least bit sociable or even show a basic curtious friendly attitude. I find that campus feels very isolated and even slightly depressive for the somewhat sociable person I apparently am, compared to the rest of the student body that i’ve encountered. When I think back to my decision to attend this institution, I can honestly say that im not sure I would have made the same decision knowing that not only would the program I planned to pursue be cut but that I would not enjoy myself at all. Its extremely unfortunate that I look forward to leaving campus and going home at the end of the day.

Posted by Rachel Kopichanski on Oct 01, 2013

Seriously, this reads like an article from the Onion. :D Poor pumpkin.

If you put zero effort into something, you will get zero result. Too bad getting an education isn’t just a big old maternity party…

Posted by Katie on Oct 02, 2013




Posted by Jon on Oct 02, 2013

“The Gatewhat looks beyond the truth to bring readers hard-hitting, FICTIONAL stories regarding student life at the University of Alberta.”

Posted by Jess on Oct 02, 2013

There are plenty of opportunities on Campus for engaging students in activities and socialization. If you just sit on your ass all day and complain that nobody is acknowledging you that’s your problem. You want to go to frat parties? Join a frat? This kid “wanted to go home early and hang out with his friends from high school.” IF YOU WANT UNIVERSITY FRIENDS…HANG OUT WITH UNIVERSITY KIDS. Simple right? I get that people might not appear friendly in classes, but think about it, you’re paying THAT much money to listen to the prof, not the kid next to you chat about his issues. (No offence) Do some research kid. EVERY faculty and program offers some sort of activity at least once a week to engage students. It’s not the School’s fault that you can’t move your ass.

Also. The classes you’re taking, especially sociology, they encourage discussion in class. So really, how are you not able to talk to a SINGLE one person?


Forgive my raging friends.

Posted by Annoyed on Oct 02, 2013

This is Y Eng > Science> F-Arts.

Cant c y’all up here on Eng mountain.

Eat it, h8erz loll

Posted by Boyd JON Bunka on Oct 02, 2013

Seems like most people didn’t catch this “The Gatewhat looks beyond the truth to bring readers hard-hitting, fictional stories regarding student life at the University of Alberta.”

Good read though, hahaha.

Posted by popo on Oct 03, 2013

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