Sofia OsborneKonz Pizza: it’s pizza in a cone. It’s an enigma. It’s an experiment in creativity. It’s a twist on a classic with gimmicky mystique.
Along with Hula Poke, Konz Pizza was announced as one of the two new vendors moving into the SUB food court, replacing L’Express and Taco Time. The concept behind their main offering is to blend the ingredients of pizza with the presentation of an ice cream cone.
An ever-hungry hipster like myself had to try it the day the new vendor opened in SUB this summer. To truly push past the limits of traditionalist pizza, I chose to sample the “Mac & Cheese Pizza” as my first foray into the unknown world of pizza in a cone.
Looking carefully at the cone, I couldn’t fault the product for false advertising. The edges of its signature curved crust bubbled over at the rim, offering just a teasing glimpse at the fillings awaiting me inside. Disappointingly, my first bite amounted to roughly 80 per cent crust and 20 per cent fillings. And, like so many first pizza bites before it, it burnt the roof of my mouth.
The redeeming moment for the coned cuisine came in those next few bites, as the soft and creamy mac and cheese melted in my mouth. In fact, the filling would have been quite satisfying if served standalone — in an “I made KD because I’m in university, will eat anything, and have to string out a 20-dollar food budget to last the entire week” kind of way. (Konz Pizza does, in fact, sell customizable mac and cheese for five dollars.) However, this funnelled concoction cost me seven dollars, and the mac and cheese only made it feel at least mediocre for about five bites.
My coned pizza’s grand finale, however, refocused on the one part of pizza everybody loves: the crust. “Wait,” you might be thinking. “Nobody likes crust!” And you’d be right — the crust is, without a doubt, the worst part of the pizza. Yet Konz Pizza seems to think otherwise.
Indeed, once I made it through my pizza cone’s crusty, crusty introduction and enjoyed its cheesy fillings for a hot second, I made it to its denouement: an overwhelmingly crusty stump at its bottom end. Who doesn’t love that!
I doubt I’ll be returning to Konz Pizza this semester. In fact, if I found myself trapped and starving without food in SUB, with every food vendor closed save for Konz Pizza itself, I still wouldn’t eat there. Clearly, the minds behind Konz Pizza spent too much time wondering if they could, and not enough time reflecting on whether or not they should.
