In February, the University of Oklahoma’s student newspaper published Jack White’s tour rider, with a specific guacamole recipe that sounds like more trouble than it is worth. This garnered a lot of press for White, which he later addressed in an open letter to “dear journalists and other people looking for drama or a diva.”

The Gateway loves both drama and divas, as well as guacamole. Really, we don’t care about the demands on the tour rider. We were just intrigued by the guacamole. We published a good, easy recipe during the Superbowl to help poor students with limited food budgets make delicious avocado dip. While it’s tasty, simple and cheap, we were intrigued by Jack White’s complex recipe that included more fresh ingredients, but not enough garlic. So, we decided to have a throwdown and see who makes a better guac: The Gateway or Jack White.

First of all, we took the two recipes and made both.

Gateway Guac

• 2 Avocados
• 3 Garlic cloves
• Half a red onion
• Salsa
• Cilantro
• Lime juice

Step 1: Mix everything together until you have a dip.

Jack White Guac (directly taken from his tour rider)

• 8 x large, ripe Haas avocados (cut in half the long way, remove the pit—SAVE THE PIT THOUGH—, and dice into large cubes with a butter knife. three or four slits down, three or four across. You’ll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to maintain the avocado in fairly large chunks.)
• 4 x vine-ripened tomatoes (diced)
• 1/2 x yellow onion (finely chopped)
• 1 x full bunch cilantro (chopped)
• 4 x Serrano peppers (de-veined and chopped)
• 1 x lime
• Salt & pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or spatula. Add 1/2 lime to the top later so you cover most of the surface with the juice (The pits and lime will keep it from browning prematurely.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until served. Please don’t make it too early before it’s served. We’d love to have it around 5 p.m.

After a massive creating and subsequent battle of the guacamole, our experts compared them.

Gateway Guac Thoughts

Kieran: I am fully aware that it looks like diarrhea, but you can’t judge a book by its cover because this guac is like onions and ogres. It has layers.

Mitch: Considering this is budget guacamole, it’s delicious. The salsa adds desirable salt and unctuousness.

Richard: It looks like shit but I like the consistency.

Jack White Guac Thoughts

Kieran: This isn’t even a dip. It’s like a salad. You can’t really get any of the spice from the serranos and trying to lift the avocado just breaks the chips.

Mitch: Though it would be a delicious sandwich filling, as a dip, I honestly prefer the poor person guac. This one has no spice to it.

Richard: It tastes fresh and it looks fantastic. But, it’s too chunky and hard to dip. Who the fuck has to double their chip just to get a spoonful of guacamole.

Conclusion

If you’re a student on a budget, make The Gateway’s guacamole. Otherwise, make both and mix them together because if you’re going to drain your budget on avocados you might as well do it with style.