Top 5: Reality shows I wish didn’t exist

From the time we are children, reality shows swirl around us like snowflakes: fragile, abundant, and always fleeting. Reality TV is a way for us to live out other peoples’ fake lives while still staying safe in our own. It can be a great escape, or it can be a meaningless distractions.

From Hilton to Kardashian, reality shows have become the bedrock of many huge networks. But what happens when a reality show is so horrifically bad that you can’t even stomach a whole episode? From time to time, a truly horrendous television series will air. Our author is here to tell you which they think are the worst five to exist.

Toddlers and Tiaras 

Photo: Toddlers & Tiaras/TLC

This reality show is infamous. As the title implies, it’s about toddlers competing in beauty pageants. Their mothers doll them up in expensive, over-the-top costumes and force them to wear a lot of makeup. The whole point of the show is for the parents to live their dreams vicariously through their toddlers. They dress their children in ways that mirror the style of grown-ups, in one case even imitating the sex worker in Pretty Woman. The program is harmful towards the children because they are forced to compete in these beauty pageants for their parents’ profit and fame, and it shouldn’t be on air.

My Strange Addiction

Payton Ferguson Photo: My Strange Addiction/TLC

This is a cringe-worthy reality show about people who have unusual addictions. The show once featured a woman who liked to lick her cats’ fur, and another woman who drank and bathed in her own pee. Yum. It’s just a weird show in general, and I hate that it makes money. 

Love Island

Photo: Love Island/CBS

This is a British reality show about beautiful single people who vacation together and date one another in paradise. It’s literally just about who sleeps with whom. It’s a cheesy reality show which only shows people going on dates. It might be that I’m salty about not being hot enough to be chosen to lounge around on a tropical island getting laid all day, but I just don’t find it entertaining. The people sit around all day and talk, and there’s no point to it at all.

Naked and Afraid

Photo: Naked and Afraid/Discovery

You guessed it right. This show is about two naked (and afraid) people, one man and one woman, who must survive in the wilderness for 21 days. Even though the show may seem dramatic, it’s scripted. They seem like they’re completely lost in the wilderness, but like all reality shows, they’re actually not too far away from civilization. If I’m going to watch someone forage for mushrooms and be followed by bears naked, it damn well better be real. Unacceptable.

Alaskan Bush People

Photo: Alaskan Bush People/Discovery

Here’s another show that doesn’t tell the truth. It’s about nine family members who live in remote Alaska, and they survive using natural resources from the land. This large family living together in the wilderness claim to distance themselves from the modern world, but it has been reported that the children use technology. Also, they actually don’t live in the wilderness, but in a nice house — when they are off-set, of course. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my bush people real, isolated, and completely out of touch with modern society: the way nature intended.

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