NationalOpinion

Top 5: Bugs I’m glad don’t live in Canada

We all know that creepy-crawlies live everywhere in the world. They could show up in our very backyards at any time. However, because we live where we do, we avoid a lot of the worst. Places like Australia aren’t so lucky.

Have you ever wondered about what kinds of horrors you avoid, simply by living in Canada? Look no further! This is a list of the top five objectively worst bugs you avoid by subjecting yourself to the harsh Canadian climate.


Human Botfly

Payton Ferguson Photo: Lyle J. Buss, University of Florida

Simply put, these bugs are horrible monsters who belong in nightmares and nowhere else. I’m sure you’ve all seen the videos, but allow me to refresh your memory. Human botfly larvae are transferred to us through mosquito bites, maturing under your skin before dropping out to reproduce like their horrifying parents. When it comes to bugs, this one is as bad as it gets. Thankfully, these little guys are only found in Central and South America.


Sydney Funnel Web Spider

Payton Ferguson Photo: Australian Reptile Park

When I was a kid, I watched a documentary featuring the funnel web spider, and I have never recovered. As you may have guessed, they’re native to Australia. They earned their name because of their unsettling habit of building funnel-shaped webs and hiding in them. However, even more unsettling than that, their fangs can be sharp enough to pierce a human toenail. Think about that next time you plan a vacation.


Tarantula Hawk Wasp

Payton Ferguson Photo: Joao Paulo Burini/Flickr open/Getty images

The name alone should make you fear this one. If someone said to you, “be careful, that tarantula hawk wasp is outside again,” you wouldn’t go outside. I might set myself on fire, actually. As the name suggests this wasp feeds on tarantulas and rarely attacks humans, which is somehow worse than if it just attacked humans. Thanks to the powers that be, however, this awful creature is found primarily in the southwestern United States.


Amazonian Giant Centipede

Payton Ferguson Photo: Andy Parke/Flickr

I don’t like centipedes at the best of times. They’re too skittery and jumpy for me to ever fully trust. But these centipedes in particular are absolutely awful. Native to Central and South America, they can grow up to 30 centimetres. In case you need a reference, that’s the length of a ruler. Not only that, but they have even more legs than a standard centipede, which is already far too many legs. I’m so glad I’ll never find one of these in my backyard.


Africanized Honey Bee

Payton Ferguson Photo: David Cappaert/bugwood.org

The worst part about these bees is not that they are spreading to North America, or that they are extremely vicious even unprovoked, or that they remain agitated for up to 24 hours and attack in massive groups. No, the worst part about africanized honey bees, otherwise known as killer bees, is that we created them in a 1957 experiment gone awry. In times like these, we can only quote Steve Buscemi: “do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Payton Ferguson

Payton Ferguson is a second-year English major by day, 2019-20 Opinion Editor for The Gateway by night (and also day). She enjoys long walks to the fridge, writing until her wrists ache, and bombarding social media with pictures of her chihuahuas.

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