The Degenerate’s Corner: A unified Korea hosting the Olympics

This isn’t a literary exercise. This isn’t a place where difficult ideas are confronted, or even a place where worthwhile information is communicated. This thing right here is about as close as you can get to a gutter on your webpage. This might just be the journalistic equivalent of the crunchy sock tucked under your eighth-grade brother’s mattress. So while I hope some part of you enjoys what you’re about to read, I’d strongly suggest that you disinfect after doing so.

Welcome to the Degenerate’s Corner. Once a fortnight we come together to examine the latest in pop culture, all through the obscure, legal-ish lens that is an online novelty bet. Maybe you’re looking to see the odds of Kanye West™ being a registered non-profit by the end of the month, or you might just be curious about pot becoming the official snack of The Gateway (think about it). Either way, you’re in the right place.

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE PROCEEDING TO PLACE A BET OR ALERT THE AUTHORITIES: While the odds are real, our endorsement isn’t. We don’t claim any responsibility for losses or winnings resulting from a bet placed. Read this for your enjoyment, and think long and hard before trying to use these odds to turn your student loans into a down payment.

North/South Korea to host the 2032 Olympics – 3.00 (Paddy Power)

From a practical point of view, this bet is a blessing in disguise. With the host city for the 2032 Olympics not being announced for another 2,384 days, if you decide to bet now you’re only really faced with two sorta-kinda-great options. Either 2025 rolls around and you’ve lost money you’d already forgotten about, or you’ve gained a tan, a fat savings account, a bowl full of avocados, and a nice $7 kickback. So really, you’ve got nothing to lose.

Now, as far as bets go, the odds for a successful joint Korean bid for the Olympics are actually pretty good. Right now, only Australia looks better poised for the win, but considering the number of poisonous animals in Australia, and the high likelihood, at least by my calculations, that the country will be completely overrun by venomous wallabies by the end of this year, I wouldn’t hesitate to put a few dollars on Korea 2032.

The real beauty of this bet, though, is that it’s arguably more than meets the eye. The moment you start introducing unhinged dictators, nuclear warheads, and creepy-ass Olympic mascots to the equation, you have what is known in the novelty betting game as a metabet. This isn’t just about getting good value anymore; what we’re looking at is a potential gambling chrysalis, ready to burst forth with a flutter of crazier bets, worse decisions, and more late nights filled with regret.

Instead of letting your fears and sober judgment talk you out of this though, take a moment and imagine the possibilities. What’ll be the odds put on Kim Jong-un snatching the mic before the start of the 100m finals to declare nuclear war against democracy? Or for Dennis Rodman to accidentally light his feather boa on fire with the Olympic torch? What are we looking at, 3/1, 2/1? Evens?

Responsible consumers think in the long-term, and it’s hard to imagine anything more secure in the long-term than this. So scrape together last Christmas’ half empty gift cards, grab that jar of discontinued pennies next to your grandmother’s urn, and go vote with your money. Go bet on the bet that keeps on giving.