Top 5: Ways to avoid eye contact with the Metro newspaper man

He’s there every morning when you get off the LRT. You won’t do the readings you’ve been assigned for classes, so you’re sure not going to read a newspaper that you won’t even be tested on.

If you’re too socially awkward to just say “no thank you” to the Metro being handed to you, here are five strategies to try instead.

1. Check your phone right as you approach. This technique for avoiding social interaction is popular for a reason, so check that text you didn’t just get.
2. Start a sudden coughing fit right as you get close. Turn your head away from the metro man while you cough, and boom, eye contact avoided.
3. Pretend you suddenly saw someone you know, just beyond the Metro man. Make eye contact with this imaginary person instead. Fake a wave to this empty spot in the distance and get moving. You’ve got a non-existent person to talk to!
4. Simply turn your eyes straight to the ground and walk as fast as you can. Pretend you’re watching for ice on the sidewalk. Maybe it’ll be believable.
5. Just give up and take the paper. Maybe you’ll get rid of it at the first recycling bin you pass, but hey, at least you’re recycling.