Local mayor grows a beard, definitely doesn’t switch places with La Pasta guy

Students hunting for a midday meal on Monday felt vaguely uneasy when glancing at La Pasta in the walk to that one water fountain. Regular customer Joe Savoy went there for his typical $5 lunch, but came back to Skyview Lounge perplexed.

“I asked the La Pasta guy how his weekend was, and he said he stayed here late, but was really excited when he got to ride the transit,” Savoy said. “I asked for the regular, but then he pulled out a book with the word ‘Edmonton’ on it, with a few blank pages at the back and a pen clipped to the front, and stuck it on a plate.”

Coincidentally the situation at city hall has gone somewhat awry. City councillor Bike Dime raised concerns with the unexpected turns of city management in recent days.

“I asked His Worship what he though about exploring new transit alternatives and opening up the North side, but all he said was that everything should be cash only,” Dime said.

“Then he brought in these two or three other guys who look like they might be his brothers, or maybe one is the other’s uncle, or they’re all cousins. Regardless, I have no fucking clue if these guys are all like 35 or if the one’s like 65. They’re timeless, like Elrond.”