Album Review: Memories… Do Not Open

The Chainsmokers
Memories… Do Not Open
Disruptor/Columbia
https://www.facebook.com/thechainsmokers/

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Clearly The Chainsmokers think listeners have no memories of what their songs sound like because they’ve basically recycled them all on their new (?) album Memories… Do Not Open.

The Chainsmokers busted onto the music scene during the peak of the EDM craze, with their viral hit, “#SELFIE.” While it initially seemed the duo were one-hit-wonders, they’ve somehow managed to creep their way into domination of today’s pop soundscape. At one point, three of their hits reached top 10 status simultaneously, a feat achieved only by The Beatles and Bee Gees previously. So, the question leading up to the release of their debut album was: Would they continue their massive success?

After listening to Memories, the answer is most likely yes, if you assume people want to hear an album with the same song played 12 times. These guys are connoisseurs of producing catchy hits like “Closer” and “Rozes” when they aren’t played 3459834957 times. They find a middle ground between hype and chill, which is the defining element of the Chainsmokers’ sound. Few people have been able to achieve this balance, and it seems to be the reason why these two are flourishing so well in the mainstream.

But the fact that The Chainsmokers are so good at producing this type of song may be the reason why their tracks sound so identical. When listening to this album, I had to double check I wasn’t listening to an individual song on repeat. “Bloodstream,” “Something Just Like This,” “Honest,” “Young,” “My Type,” — why bother even changing their names? Most of them have the same chord progression and same lyrics about being a young adult with relationship issues. “I’m fucked up, I’m faded, I’m so complicated,” sounds like something ripped off from a junior high kid’s desk graffiti. On top of that, almost every song has the same structure. In case you want the recipe for a Chainsmokers song, here it is:

Ingredients:

• Piano chords (or lead synth substitute)
• Andrew Taggart/airy female vocals
• Kick drum
• Snare drum
• Cymbals
• Synth horn

Steps:

1. Preheat your audience with 16 bars of piano chords or some simple synth notes
2. Smother your intro with a 16 bar layer of Taggart or indie songstress vocals (don’t worry they can do a duet later)
3. Mix in a simple beat with your kick drum for 16 bars
4. Dissolve that simple beat and replace it by slowly rising the volume of some snares and cymbals in the background
5. Crack open that in-your-face synth horn to add some heat
6. Repeat a cycle of vocals, buildups and synth horns with a pinch of variation to your liking

*Note: If you use this recipe and become superstars like The Chainsmokers, please remember me and get me free tickets to your show.

If you’ve already heard other songs by The Chainsmokers, don’t bother with listening to this album. You’ve pretty much heard it already and will most likely hear it being played to death for the next six months.