Burlap Sack: Small car only stall

Parking on campus sucks. And I’m not just bitching about the (recently raised) prices. The parking itself is awful because students parking on campus are awful.

I wait in the parade o’ cars to enter the north campus parkades: Education, Windsor, Stadium, and even Timms if I’m desperate. I circle up and down levels trying to find a parking stall. Sometimes it looks like there’s one, but when you drive closer you realize the student in the Toyota Corolla decided to take up one and a half stalls; or apparently turning into a stall is hard, so the student in the Nissan Altima decided to turn their front tires just enough that you can’t park in the adjacent stall. Not to mention I witnessed an accident in Stadium just last week when a student decided he had all the room to back up — all the room, that is, until he made contact with the Mazda behind him and didn’t know what to do.

But this isn’t about shitty, young drivers. This is about shitty, young drivers doing shitty things.

The “Small Car Only” spots are labelled specifically for small cars. It’s not just a suggestion, or a random sign, it’s a designated parking area. Yes, I have a small car (like really small), so I love these parking stalls. But nine times out of 10, there’s a car that is not small parked in the stall, like this guy in the blue SUV I saw yesterday morning in Stadium.

“Small Car Only” probably means a) you need to be driving a car, and b) it needs to be small. It’s not up to interpretation. It’s not “Small SUV Only” or “IDGAF Parking Only” or “I Like Blocking Traffic Only.”

You may think you fit in that parking stall, but when your rear end protrudes past the yellow lines, and you hear a scraping crunch from your front bumper as you try to cram into the “Small Car Only” stall, it probably means you shouldn’t park there.

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