Alex PattersonNapping is a fundamental joy of adult life. A good one temporarily suspends responsibilities and quells woes — be it papers, readings, or bae troubles. From chairs to benches, libraries, and those weird cubby holes in Tory, I’ve laid my head all across campus. Some spots are good, others are outright bad, but I will not rest until I’ve uncovered all those spots which are especially nap-worthy. As we return to the bitterness of winter semester, I’m here to share my wisdom of where you should and shouldn’t venture in pursuit of a good nap on campus.
#1 Business/Tory Atrium bench
It wasn’t until mid-term assignments started to approach that I found myself sleeping on this bench. It’s in a corner near a window and not far away from vending machines that dispense string cheese. A nap here simulates what homelessness will be like with an arts degree. Nonetheless, I managed a 30 minute nap.
#2 Winspear Library chair and table
This is the first place I napped at on campus. It was the second or third day of classes, I was reading, and the next thing I knew my head was using a book as a pillow. From my estimation, I slept there for almost an hour. But it’s out in the open, there is too much light, and my back was sore afterwards. Next time I’ll try a cubicle.
#3 Tory building cubby holes
The Henry Marshall Tory Building has all kinds of these brick cubby holes. I’ve squished myself into one a couple of times for a nap and I’ve napped very well each time. I feel like a hibernating animal nestled in there.
#4 Winspear Library blue chairs
This one requires some DIY. Push two of those rolley blue chairs together and you’ll get at least an hour and a half of bliss. If I didn’t set an alarm I would have missed a class.
#5 Humanities Centre bench
I like this bench a lot because I can stretch my legs out. I’ve hunkered down on it a few times. Pro tip: use your jacket as a blanket.
#6 Van Vliet couches
The Van Vliet has actual couches in it. This glorious lime green slice of heaven provided two hours of recharging, after which I sucked back a Funky Monkey from Booster Juice. If you’re ever lucky enough to find a vacant couch in this area, hands down this is the best place I’ve napped on campus (so far).
#7 Pedway between SUB and the AgFor
This spot came as a recommendation from a fellow classmate. Here’s the pros: there’s nature light, it’s quiet, and behind the benches are outlets to charge your phone.
#8 Athabasca Hall Stairwell
I was looking for an elusive prof and got lost here. I found a cozy stairwell you could sleep under. It’s dark and silent, but it’s also a ghetto spot to nap. It may be good practice to start sleeping in dark public spaces, because when you’re unemployed, holding a BA, and can’t afford Kraft Dinner, a stairwell may be the only place you can afford to rent.
#9 ETLC
I asked a pretty engineering student where in the building was the best spot to nap. Her answer: “There isn’t any…”
#10 BioSci (Psychology Study Space)
You can take a nap in one of armchairs here. The space smells like old books and neuroses, and once the Ativan kicks in, you’ll be enjoying your manifest dream content. Hypnosis and cigars sold separately.
#11 CCIS
There is a nap-worthy bench outside L2-200 lecture hall. However, the bench might be too close to one of the U of A’s “high tech” recycling and garbage sorting bins. No one wants to chow down on a swarm of fruit flies while skipping an important lecture just to catch up on some sleep.
#12 Rutherford House
The Rutherford House has a lot of cool antique furniture, but you can’t nap there. However, it is a place that you should visit and it’s actually quite peaceful. It costs students $5 to experience important U of A history. That shouldn’t be a deterrent for those willing to pay $5.25 for a basic venti Pumpkin Spice Latte.
#13 Fine Arts Building
In a pinch the chairs and benches in FAB (which look like they were imported from a 80s cartoon airport) could be used for a quick nap. We all know how exhausting it is attempting to figure out what art “means.” I won’t pretend to know anything about art, but my campus napping skills could be considered a form of performance art.
#14 Scary Physics Lab Hallway
I don’t know how I got here. There are no benches, chairs, places to nap, or reasons to be down here. There’s an ambient noise coming from one of the laboratories. Am I losing my mind aboard a Russian space station? Let’s hope I’m just having a bad dream while napping elsewhere on campus.
