Bring on new sex robots that “can even have an orgasm!”

Have you ever just stared at an appliance, admiring all its functions, dumb-struck by its radiating charisma, and just thought to yourself, “Man, I wish I could fuck this appliance right now?” Well, you, good sir, are in luck! True Companion, a New Jersey-based company founded by artificial intelligence engineer, Douglas Hines, is set to release a line of humanoid sex-bots by the end of this year. Isn’t that just the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever heard? Sadly, not all people would agree.

Dr. Kathleen Richardson, a senior research fellow in the Ethics of Robotics at De Montfort University, along with Dr. Erik Billing of the University of Skövde in Sweden, is spearheading a Campaign Against Sex Robots. Their movement is led by the belief that sex-bots would only further objectify women and create a mass reduction of human empathy. Their concern even goes as far as to say sex-bots may gradually replace human partners (because there’s nothing like the reassuring touch of cold steel to let you know you’re not alone in this world).

According to the True Companion website, the sex-bots — all referred to as Roxxxy — are able to “talk to you, listen to you and feel your touch. She can even have an orgasm!” Thousands of preorders have already been made for the world’s first sex robot, which even allows you to select its own wig and skin tone. This is admirably accommodating for the diverse world in which we live. I would hate to think that Roxxxy would raise both gender inequality and racial issues considering she’s just a harmless nympho looking for some loving. Hines hopes that one day, Roxxxy will even be able to respond accordingly to the likes and dislikes of its owner. This seems perfect for all those times you wish your girlfriend could muster a stimulating conversation. Soon enough, all you’ll need is Roxxxy to share your conspiracy theories and long discussions that no human being ever seemed to have the time or patience for prior.

All in all, I see no harm in this technologically advanced fetish. Let this development filter out the dedicated perverts who are willing to spend US $7,000 on a mannequin they can put their dick in. Let them quiver with sheer excitement as they open their front doors to find a human-sized box finally being delivered. Just let them have sex with the damn robot. And if the development of these sex-bots jeopardizes your relationship with someone, then you’re better off without them anyway. Seriously, if someone breaks up with you because a line of sex-bots comes out, then you’re clearly dating a freak and it’s best to get rid of them before you have three children, a mortgage to pay off, and you come home to them fucking a toaster.

Also, speaking on the behalf of a large sum of women, we’re already basically having sex with robots. Our robots just conveniently lack the creepy aspect of a torso and limp, cold arms.

Now, if for some reason, you do feel inclined to join the Campaign Against Sex Robots, visit their website. It’s set up like some kind of apocalyptic diary, and they can provide you a step by step explanation as to why we shouldn’t have sex with machines.