Supplied - Marcello Casal Jr.Recently, Sepp Blatter stepped down as the president of FIFA. We here at The Gateway decided to put our heads together and write about who should succeed him.
Zachary Popowich
While FIFA’s corruption has long been an open secret that has been tolerated, what’s raised the collective eyebrows of Futbol enthusiasts the world over was the fact that it took the United States of America to finally act on the corruption.
With that in mind, I think that it would only be fitting for an American to lead FIFA out of this troubled chapter in their history into a new and more ethical light. What FIFA needs is someone with experience turning around struggling international events (as in the Salt Lake City Olympics) and that possesses the moral compass of a true American.
That’s right, I’m talking about Romney 2016. It’s happening baby. Now some might say that Mitt’s lack of experience in Futbol makes him a poor choice, I say that his distance from organized futbol makes him an asset in an organization so plagued with corruption and moral decay. If you want to see change in FIFA then #PresidentRomney2016 needs to become a thing.
Kobe Amoh
The recent FIFA scandals, no matter how amusing, have shown the outside world that there is serious corruption within the organization.
Casual observers and the most diehard fans are crying out for change and transparency. New leadership is needed, but who can save us? Who will step up to lead us into a new era of soccer domination?
It’s obvious. The leader we need is Kim Jong-un. Think about it: who has brought the glorious nation of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to international recognition and widespread acclaim? The Supreme Leader is familiar with the intimate details of effective rule and proper organization. His academic training in Europe shows his worldliness, while his (suggested) close ties with such individuals as Kobe Bryant and Dennis Rodman confirm that he’s a baller of the highest degree. And after the DPRK’s 7-0 thrashing of Portugal in the 2010 World Cup, Kim Jong-un is ready to prove that his nation can produce footballing leadership, if not goal-scoring machines.
There is no other choice. If you think so, you’ll be receiving a letter from the Ministry of State Security – hopefully, your work camp skills are up to par. Kim Jong-un is the man for the job, and I’ll be damned if we give to someone like Luis Figo or Michel Platini.
Josh Greschner
One of the most important aspects of bureaucratic positions is fitting into the office culture.
FIFA has repeatedly proven that theirs is one of elitism and fundamental corruption. The new president needs to be comfortable exploiting the world’s love of soccer for personal gain. The new FIFA president needs to be morally bankrupt while being filthy rich.
Equitorial Guinea is a major West African oil producer, although it is 144th of the UN’s Human Development Index. Less that half the population has access to clean drinking water and 20% of children die before the age of five.
The country’s dictator, Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, is personally worth $600 million dollars. All the while quashing uprising and imprisoning political opponents, he has taken control of the national treasury and he has built a number of massive California estates and presidential palaces.
Sepp Blatter left big shoes to fill. In his diamond-encrusted shoes, Mbasogo would be a hit in the office.
