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Burlap Sack- Kevin O’Leary

Kevin O’Leary, the physical embodiment of every silly anti-NDP fear mongerer, is on a noble mission: to tint your nightmares orange and to teach a master class in the art of comedic hyperbole in five minutes and forty-three seconds.

Plenty of people have reacted in all sorts of ways to the NDP’s monumental victory in Alberta, such as Peter Mackay and his Albertastan quip. However, Kevin O’Leary’s take on the matter is truly an awesome sight to behold and one rich piece of comedy gold to be treasured. In a segment on Business News Network, O’Leary said “Alberta was the shining light of capitalism in North America. Now it’s fallen off the cliff into a socialist bog! I don’t know what else to call it.” Even though it’s only been a few weeks since the election, for O’Leary, it’s an established fact that Alberta has already fallen into this communist nightmare and his pity for all the poor Albertans who now must labour under the yoke of socialism is truly a touching display that warms this writer’s heart.

O’Leary insists that he’s “dealing in reality” and that he’s “just simply telling the truth” about the NDP, the party he calls “the dark force itself.”

Praise you, Kevin O’Leary, for being courageous enough to tell the truth and fight the dark forces of orange.

Nathan Fung

Nathan Fung is a sixth-year political science student and The Gateway's news editor for the 2018-19 year. He can usually be found in the Gateway office, turning coffee into copy.

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