SuppliedIn 2001, Afroman released a single called ‘Crazy Rap’ that features the famous chorus line ‘Colt 45, 2 Zig-Zags, baby that’s all we need/Going to the park after dark/Smoke that tumbleweed.”
Despite the song’s popularity, Colt 45 beer never got sucked into hipster culture. One reason why not is that the song is too recent, but that isn’t the main reason for its bottom-shelf status.
Evaluating the sensuous/aesthetic effects of malt liquor is absurd. This Colt 45 is 8% and comes in a 946 ml bottle (31 oz. for our American friends.) The foamy pour fades instantly. The taste is bland and unobtrusive because it’s meant to be consumed in great quantities. By any respectable standard, this beer is horrifying.
On a positive note, the beer becomes cold when refrigerated.
But that’s not the point. Colt 45 is an alcoholic’s beer. In small quantities, it produces a giddy stupor. The goal is to remain in this state, but the beer produces an intense desire to drink and not stop. Beyond the giddy stupor, the experience turns inward. Colt 45 causes you to deliriously confront your true, ugly, scared personality. Which is the most horrifying of all.
Colt 45 is a beer of desolation. Hipsters haven’t taken it up because they wouldn’t be able to handle it, no matter how ironic it would be to drink Afroman’s favorite beer.
