Decompression chamber installed in Peter Lougheed Hall to relieve pressure of scholars’ egos

As construction on the Peter Lougheed Hall (PLH) continues, the University of Alberta unveiled a new decompression chamber.

Complimenting an already expensive and unnecessary list of amenities, the chamber will act as a resource for students to help acclimatize between the real world and the environment of the Peter Lougheed Leadership College (PLLC).

The initial cost for this addition to the PLH is pegged at around one million dollars. PLLC Administration hopes that the room and board for the PLH will cover this expense. One PLLC administrator said the costs to operate the decompression equipment will not be a cause for concern.

“The PLLC is not financially stable anyways,” the administrator said. “What are another few million dollars to this project?”

Fourth-year political science student and PLLC “scholar” Ricky Ronald was happy that this addition is being incorporated into an already lavish project.

“The fireplace was not enough,” Ronald said.

Ronald believes that the decompression chamber will truly help all students in the PLLC and living in PLH cope with the weight of expectations placed upon them, and their egos.

“Uplifting the whole people is hard,” Ronald said. “On top of that I have to pay for my room/board to live in the PLH by working three jobs, score well in my classes, complete my capstone, and live up to the leadership ideals of the PLLC.”

Ronald looks forward to using the chamber to destress.

“I just feel so much pressure all the time,” he said. “It follows me everywhere. I won’t be feeling as sick anymore.”