Marble Pedestal: Autumn

If my GPA was a season, it would be fall, because you can’t get any better for either.

When it comes to fall, there are many joys to look forward to. Think pumpkin spice season, new colours and patterns on our trees, and an abundance of attractive individuals in scarves and leather. For some, these things alone don’t beat summer festivals, Christmas carols in winter, or the excitement of the snow finally melting in spring. However, there is one specific factor of fall that enhances its elements. In fact, it enhances it to the point that it becomes just a notch above the other seasons. That factor is the sound of each dying wasp taking its last breaths under my boot.

Every season has its charms, but fall has hardly any drawbacks. I believe this is due to the lack of stinging pests that plague our city while we try to take our leisure in the sweater-populated season.

For the last few fummers I’ve had to schedule my life to avoid wasps. Simple tasks like mowing the lawn require a Google search to know when wasps are the most active to avoid getting stung. It’s no secret that wasps have been increasing their population around Edmonton in recent years. Many Edmonton residents have been impacted. We lose the summer whimsy in cases like outdoor festivals that require constant vigilance. Or, we have to cover our fruity drinks and fragrant foods so as not to catch the nose of a winged-tormentor. Due to wasps flourishing in hot weather, we likely won’t get a break from their pestering in future summers. This is certainly something that stains summer in the minds of many Edmontonians when all we want is to be excited for warmer temperatures.

On the bright side, fall is a season we can relish without paranoia the further we get into it. I have so many memories from my childhood of visiting the nearby forest and playground with friends on the weekends. I was always eager to visit those places that, in the summer, swarmed with wasps. They all seemed to vanish as soon as mid-September hit. This is because the majority of wasps will die as the weather starts to get cooler. Although we might have to bundle up a little more to go outside, the trade is certainly worth it.

Some people would definitely enjoy fall’s highlights less if worrying about wasps was still a concern. For example, imagine you’re 10-years-old again and it’s October 31. You and your friends are off to get a head start on your trick-or-treating so you get the full-sized chocolate bars before the good houses run out. You’re a little weighed down from all the layers your mom made you wear. But that doesn’t stop you from running excitedly from house to house. Then after a couple houses there’s a jarring, familiar buzzing noise in your ear.

This wasn’t the kind of scare you were anticipating tonight. You start to run a little faster. The buzzing continues. You realise the layers under your costume aren’t much protection at all. You’ve sprinted past the good houses, you’ve dropped all your candy, and the buzzing is still hot on your trail. With tears streaming down your cheeks, you promise yourself this is your last time trick-or-treating. Whether it be Halloween, corn mazes, or just a walk outside to see the fall colours, I can’t imagine we would all think of fall activities the same if we all had these sorts of annual horror stories.

Of course, there are things to enjoy in other seasons that don’t involve wasps. And maybe some people don’t mind them as much as I do. But considering the surplus we’ve seen in their numbers in recent years, they’ve obviously managed to make themselves a significant nuisance in our communities. Some of the fall activities mentioned so far may not compare to the other seasons for everyone. Nonetheless, I aim to put a spotlight on a season often associated with the doom and gloom of back–to-school. 

Warmer seasons come with growth of wasp populations. The endless misery of minus-forty degree temperatures arrives in winter. A lack of wasps in a season that’s neither too hot nor too cold, along with all the other excitements attached, is precisely what makes fall the best season.