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Diss Track: MAGIC!, Madonna, Taylor Swift

“Lay You Down Easy” by MAGIC! (feat. Sean Paul)

It’s 99.9 per cent guaranteed that there has never been a conversation where someone asked for more Canadian-made-reggae-pop and yet Toronto band MAGIC! keep thinking there’s a demand. Most of their songs are bearable enough to let play really quietly on the radio while having a conversation, but this one requires a complete station change to ignore (shout-out to Canadian radio laws for making it play way more often than it should).

“Bitch I’m Madonna” by Madonna (feat. Nicki Minaj)

If it weren’t for the fact that her name’s in the title and the numerous repetitions throughout the song, this could have easily been sung by an amateur pop star. The electronic beat and generic lyrics about partying probably took a total of 30 seconds to throw together, which is coincidentally the same amount of time anyone can handle listening to the song.  

There’s always something a little uncomfortable about old stars trying to fit the new expectations of their genre. Take a characterless song and add a Nicki Minaj feature and you’ve pretty much got the recipe. Madonna proved herself to be an icon in the 80s, but that’s the thing: it was the 80s. No one can sing about getting drunk and trashing hotel rooms forever, no matter how famous they are.

“Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift

Remember the days when Taylor Swift sang about things other than how everyone other than her is terrible? Yeah me neither. It seems that ever since the famous Kanye incident, Swift has been capitalizing on playing the victim, and “Gorgeous” follows suit.

Regardless of Swift being the artist, any song that gets intro’d by a baby’s voice and has lyrics like “You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk” is sub-par at best. It’s the same story of “magnetic attraction” that everyone has heard on the radio an infinite amount of times, and it’s gotten more than a little bit annoying.

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