Top 5: SU election

The SU election features a bunch of kids who often take themselves too seriously, running for pre-professional campus based jobs. Doesn’t that sound extremely familiar?  Here’s the top five things from this election cycle.

5. Ankur

How can you not love watching this guy? The entire election, his volume been at 11. At the Myer Horowitz forum, he walked up to the mic and asked, “IS THIS ON?”

It was on.

To be honest, I still don’t know what VP External does, past having to talk to the government. After attending multiple forums, I still don’t really know. But, I can’t help but to like Ankur.

I can’t imagine the difficulty of going to school overseas where my first language isn’t the country’s official language. Running in an SU election overseas would be terrifying. That takes balls. If that was me, damn right I’d be screaming at people. Although Ankur might not be coherent half the time, his passion is only second to Reed Larsen (who if loses, will probably run again next year, and the year after, and the year after, so just vote for the damn guy.)

4. How is that cat so calm?

I cannot believe Donut just sits there and chills, in public, with loud noises. My cat sketches out if you make eye contact with her, and only stops meowing when she’s napping.

Donut is a very nice cat, I asked my friend Bront what he thought. He rated Donut 12/10.

Joke presidential candidate Donut the Cat Sofia Osborne

3. APIRG no guy

At the beginning of the campaign, I thought about voting no on the APIRG plebiscite, thinking “Ahhh, fuck these guys. They’ve taken like 40 bucks from me in the last six years and I still don’t know what they do.”

However, I changed my mind immediately after listening to the guy who ran the “no” campaign.

Man that guy has been beyond incoherent every time he’s been called on to speak. He muttered “fuck” into the mic after taking the podium in ECHA and having next to no opening remarks past “vote no on APIRG.”

Groundbreaking stuff.

I never thought I would be voting “yes” on APRIG as a protest vote, lol.

2. Bashir

I was around when this guy ran in ’14, like most students, I didn’t follow the thing at all, I was told he didn’t even come close. I saw he complained that The Gateway gets too much money, heard he had a reputation as a hot-head and I thought to myself “what a jackass.”

A few weeks ago, he came into the office and introduced himself to me, and to my surprise, he was soft spoken. Later that night I read his website and saw some of the shit that he and his family have been through as immigrants to Canada.

The inside of my head rang with my immigrant grandmother’s voice, shouting (much like Ankur) “I work 25 years in laundry for what! Everyone is crooks Jonathan!”

In the Lister election forum, I posed a question to the presidential candidates about the lessons that can be learned from regret. Bashir looked me in the eyes while he expressed himself, openly and honestly.

My vote stands with my Bashir. If someone said the Cubs would win in ’16, nobody would’ve believed that either.

1. Voter apathy

80 per cent of students don’t give a shit about any of this and are more excited about this weeks new episode of Riverdale.

I always thought Archie was a corny ass comic, and now it’s a hit murder mystery on Netflix with that kid who was on Suite Life of Zach & Cody.

If somebody can make Riverdale cool, the SU can get a better voter turnout. Figure it out.

Honourable mention: Chen Liang, who ghosted us harder than anyone on Tinder ever has.


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