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Vino Bitches: Jam Jar

Wine: Jam Jar (2011)
Found at: Liquors on Jasper
Price: $17.99

It’s not often that a  wine fits so perfectly with it’s name, but South Africa’s Jam Jar does just that.

The label is a minimalist’s dream, stating only the name, type and year of the wine without any wildly artistic designs or logos. The pattern of the screw-top is reminiscent of a picnic blanket. Basically, it’s as non-threatening as a wine bottle can look.

The wine has a weird stench to it, almost as though it’s been sitting out for a long time and has started to go bad. This is immediately contrasted by the taste, however, which actually manages to fulfill its purpose of bringing out the flavour of grape jam.

The only issue with the sweetened Shiraz is that it tastes like the hangover that it will inevitably give you. Thanks to the loads of sugar and 13 per cent alcohol content, only a few glasses are needed before the buzz hits, which makes it great for pre-drinking on short notice. Because it is so sweet, it also acts as a great fruit fly trap.

The back of the bottle boasts that Jam Jar pairs well with anything from cheeseburgers to chocolate pudding. In other words, the staff at Jam Jar probably didn’t try to figure out what the wine tastes best with. A more realistic suggestion would be dark chocolate, in order to combat the aggressive sweetness of the wine.

If sugar-packed wine that no longer tastes like red wine is supposed to is your jam, then drink up! Your friends will be jelly of your ability to swig from the bottle with ease, but make sure to drink plenty of water to prevent your body from getting revenge for treating it like a sugar plantation.

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