Getaway
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The Gateway U of A president confirmed for Smash Ultimate
Hi Nintendo fans. Reggie here. I’m excited to announce a newcomer to the smash scene. Yes, we’ve heard your call,…
Read More » - The Gateway
U of A receives large grant, spends on live bears
Un-bear-able chaos erupted on campus last week when the Board of Governors decided to take funds received from an anonymous…
Read More » - Richard Bagan
Grades under B minus now just coded ‘BIG OOF’ on transcripts
(Getaway: “When someone asks me how the exam went, I can say ‘BIG OOF’ and it’ll accurately encapsulate how I feel…
Read More » - Supplied
Top 5: Favourite parts of Wesley Willis’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll McDonalds”
Wesley Willis’s epic 20th-century ballad Rock ‘n‘ Roll McDonalds is a piece of cultural heritage. It shaped the very youth…
Read More » - The Gateway
Confessional: GUBA is just my sugar daddy and I don’t actually love him
This is hard for me to admit, and even harder for me to write. Although it is clear his feelings…
Read More » - Supplied
Konz changes its name to Krust
After a semester of bad press, the “pizza place” formerly known as Konz has changed its name to Krust. This…
Read More » - Supplied - Alberto G
Your grades DO determine your worth as a person
Look, I don’t care what your mom told you when she tucked you into bed last night. It’s a dog…
Read More » - spacex
BREAKING: SpaceX has just launched me into orbit
The day I have been praying for has arrived. SpaceX put me on a rocket and just launched me into…
Read More » - Supplied — Martin Dee
Quiz: What university do you *really* belong at?
Stop right there, you son of a bitch. We all know the answer to this question already. It’s been staring…
Read More » - Ab Sch
Getaway 2018 Horoscopes
You clicked on this article because you believe in horoscopes. In reality, horoscopes are a joke. You are a joke.…
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